I spend a lot of time in my head just…
Now that I’m two years post-op I’m hitting the point of weight stabilisation. I have to be totally honest it’s driving me nuts. Towards the end of last year I was teetering around my goal weight and I did not want to go over it and have more than a couple of kilos regain.
I started the year off strong with my exercise and each week I have been working on it and building my fitness. I thought that this would, after a few weeks, get my weight coming down. Boom, two birds one stone. Instead of that, since I have been focusing on my fitness and exercise my weight has slowly crept up over the last eight weeks.
I’m now a couple of kilos over my goal weight and I am not happy. I know that I will have built more muscle since I started exercising and that’s usually why, initially, my weight tends to go up a bit when I start back regularly exercising. Since about the week three mark I’ve been thinking, “This is the week,” and the opposite of what I have expected keeps happening.
I was really giving myself grief about it and was wonering what the hell was going on. My diet, in terms of my meals has been good and I have reigned a few things in that had got off track last year. I have been focussing on my protein levels and making sure I get enough in. The only diet related thing that isn’t quite right is a few snacks that have crept in but I thought the amount of exercise I have been doing would have been negating it.
Also while my weight has been increasing my clothes have been fitting me just as well or in some cases better than before so this was only confusing me more. I did my measurements a couple of weeks ago too and they were the same as the last time I did them when I was about four kilos lighter.
I had my two year post-op check up on Monday and I saw the specialist bariatric nurse from my surgical team. I laid all of this out for her and she brought up weight stabilisation. Basically there comes a point, usually between one and two years out, where your body tries to find its own set point. You can be doing everything correctly, as you have been for a while and your body will still go off and do whatever it pleases. This is not an excuse for gaining a bit of weight back in my mind but it’s nice to know there is a biological process that is working here that’s outside of my control.
My nurse helped bring me back down to earth and has calmed down my freak out over all of this. She had some great advice like needing to be kind to myself because while I can try to micromanage this process there are some things that can’t be micromanaged. Obviously she recommended I try to cut out the snacking but that if I had to have something that a glass of calci trim milk would be a good choice.
If you get to a point where you are struggling and not feeling things are going to plan do not miss your appointments with your team. I know of some people who out of fear or embarassment will avoid their team but it’s honestly the worst thing you can do. If you are feeling like you are going off track and have no scheduled appointments coming up then get in touch with them anyway. Your surgical team are there to support you and only want the best for you, I promise.
I am so freaking determined not to have any more than a small amount of regain and was starting to worry that that’s what was happening. I have not gone through all of this and come this far to let it get away on me now. I have to accept to a point that my body will find a point where it is comfortable and I just have to kind of accept that. Be that as it may I am going to do everything in my power to get those scales down back around my goal weight.
I have been tempted to chuck in the exercise (not really I don’t think but ugh!) because it’s easy to blame the rise in my weight on muscle gain. I enjoy it too much and love feeling fit and strong so that’s not my answer. The only diet related thing I can refine is the snacks. This week I have cut out the snacks and to make it easier I am really, really focussing on my protein intake to make sure I’m not being unnecessarily tempted to eat when I don’t need to.
My weight is something I have to manage for the rest of my life and since I had had that realisation I’m committed to doing it. I have to accept that some of it is outside of my direct control, that is really hard to accept but my body cannot be controlled by my thoughts and actions alone. However, the things that are in my control I am going to continue to work on and refine to make sure I’m doing the best for myself.
It’s good to remind yourself how far you have come, how hard you have worked and how much you deserve this. As you get further out from surgery the past, naturally, begins to get a bit hazy in the distance. Never lose sight of it and how amazing the present and your future is going to be. We are all in this together and by talking about the hard stuff we’ll smash our goals for years to come.
Are you maintaining your weight and finding its been a bit harder lately for some reason? Comment below and let me know, I’d love to know I’m not alone!