You are never alone

Throughout life we all go through experiences that aren’t easy and probably aren’t the same as what everyone around us is doing and it’s quite easy to feel isolated by that difference. The thing is though that while you feel isolated you are never alone, at least not completely in your journey and how you’re feeling about something.

What complicates this further is that the hard stuff is usually very hard to talk about. Admitting the hard stuff to yourself is hard enough let alone saying it out loud when someone else could hear. It’s usually only the people we feel quite close to and we know won’t judge us that we will tell this stuff to. Unfortunately they often aren’t going through the same big life changing experience at the same time that you are.

When I started down the road of applying for bariatric surgery I knew one person who I used to work with but didn’t have any more contact with, who had had a gastric sleeve. Because I didn’t have anyone to talk to about it I researched it online and found online communities of people going through the same thing. Sometimes you just need to talk to some one who is going to get it because its easier to get your point across to someone who just gets it.

Now I know heaps of people who have had bariatric surgery and some of us have a secret Facebook group. This group is overwhelmingly positive and supportive of each other and it’s really helpful for everyone in the group. The other day one of the posts turned into a bit of a confessional where we told each other what we were struggling with food wise and admitted the things we were doing but probably shouldn’t have been.

It takes a lot to admit you’re not coping as you usually do or aren’t on top of your game and I think when you’ve sacrificed so much to get bariatric surgery in the first place there’s an added pressure you put on yourself to be perfect all of the time. One of the comments in the resulting conversation that this started was that this person was so glad to hear they weren’t alone in their struggle.

As with pretty much anything in life you are never truly alone. It sure can feel like it but I’m sure there’s someone out there that understands. Sometimes you just have to find a tiny bit of courage and say out loud to the person you think is most appropriate/supportive what’s bothering you and what you’re struggling with.

Keeping things inside and trying to deal with it yourself, while that can be admirable, is going to be harder and ultimately probably not going to help you get anywhere. This is totally my own preference but I always find talking about something with someone I can trust helps to make the problem not seem so bad. If you can talk to someone you know about bariatric stuff that’s awesome but if not there’s always people you can connect with online who have been through it themselves.

I do believe that the hard parts in life give us the biggest learning opportunities and talking about the harder bits gives you more opportunity to make a realisation or hear something from someone else that will give you an a-ha moment. I think my main point here is if things are tough and you’re struggling reach out and ask for help. Getting it off your chest will be helpful and if the person you talk to can relate to your struggle you will get that reassurance you need that you’re not alone.

Keep a look out for Thursdays post. I’m taking my own advice and I’m sharing how hard I’ve found staying on top of my game has been lately. Have you got someone to share some of the hard stuff who helps you feel less alone? How did you meet this person were they a long time friend or someone you only know online? Comment below and let me know.

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There are 5 comments for this article
  1. Melissa Muckart at 7:52 pm

    This is so true. I’m struggling with something right now that I still can’t bring myself to tell anyone (except for one person who I trust implicitly even though I haven’t known her long – she is one of us). I’ve told her but I’m still not ready to talk about it or, frankly, to deal with it. But I know where to go when I am ready and I know I will be supported when I’m ready to face this old demon down.

    • Melissa Peaks Author at 8:33 pm

      I’m really glad you have one person you can tell for now. I hope you manage to face it soon but in the mean time look after yourself as much as possible and you know where to get the support and help you need when you are ready xx

  2. Pauline at 8:40 pm

    As usual .. always a great read and I am feeling a little touched as I think I may have been a small part of what prompted this post. Am still battling the demons and have an appointment with Bronwen on Thursday. Am quitely terrified, disappointed with myself and relieved all at the same time if that makes any sense. I do believe I am going to have to do a lot of exactly what you have said.. reaching out and getting support from those who know how great the battle always remains

    • Melissa Peaks Author at 8:53 pm

      You hit the nail on the head Pauline. I think it was you that said you were so glad you weren’t alone in this and you’re right, sometimes just knowing that helps. Thank you for the inspiration 😀 That totally makes sense, it’s scary to admit this stuff to the team but you’re not going to get told off. They want to help and know that sometimes things go astray. I know you can do this, you know you can do this. Gather the calvary and charge!

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