I spend a lot of time in my head just…
I think one thing that’s a bit of a right of passage for anyone after they have gotten married is the wondering if their wedding outfit will still fit. It’s something that I think you wonder about more around your anniversary each year and my fifth wedding anniversary was last month which got me wondering about my dress. After having a gastric bypass almost two years ago and having lost 70 kilos since then I’ve changed a bit in the five years since we got married.
As I type this I haven’t looked at my dress since I took it to the dry cleaners after my wedding and got it cleaned and packed up in a giant box. From memory I think my dress was a size 22 but I can’t be sure. Since I’m less than half of what I was I know for sure I will be able to get in my dress now and in the future. Since writing those few sentences I got my dress out. It’s still as beautiful as I remember but sitting in a box untouched for five years it’s a bit creased so I apologise for that in the photos.
I had an awesome idea that my husband and I could recreate one of my favourite wedding pictures, the one at the top of the page up there (minus the beach, don’t want to get my clean dress covered in sand again!) but this time see if both of us could fit inside it. This post is mainly for shits and giggles but it’s a really cool way to celebrate how far I have come in the five years since our wedding. We couldn’t do it up properly at the back (we managed to lace it up in a haphazard way) but you know what, we both got inside it. If you had told me on my wedding day that five years later we would both fit in my dress I would have laughed you out of town!
Symbolically it also represents so much in terms of our marriage. As all couples do we have been through some not so great times since we got married, my gastric bypass being one of the not so fun things. In the end though it has only brought us closer together (ha ha I’m funny right!). You kind of have to admit that it’s adorable that we can both fit inside my wedding dress now!
I love my wedding dress and I think I always will. It is what I was wearing when I became a wife and entered the ultimate partnership with my husband and that means so much to me. I still love our wedding photos but I have to admit I do look at them differently now. My face looks so different and in a sense, I don’t identify as that girl anymore.
It would be so much fun to get a new dress and have another wedding but to be honest it wouldn’t mean the same to me as my actual wedding day. This post is getting a bit deep but I think it confirms for me that while I wouldn’t change my decision to have surgery in the slightest I also wouldn’t change my life and my appearance leading up to that point either. While I look different now I still know exactly how that girl felt and I think the emotional part of it is harder to let go in many ways.
I think a lot of people assume I had surgery purely because I was unhappy with how I looked but that’s such a small part of why I did it. The collective experiences I’ve had through my life make me who I am today and give me a perspective on life only I can have.
My wedding dress is now such a symbol of how far I have come in terms of looking after myself and choosing to put my health first. I think one of my long-term goals is going to be to always be able to fit back into my wedding dress. Hopefully this is always going to be an easy task.
Do you still identify with the person in those old photos now that your outward appearance has changed? Comment below and let me know I’d love to see what you think.