I think one of the first things we have to…
As I’ve grown up a bit since becoming an adult (I said a bit all right!) one thing I’ve learnt is that jealousy is going to follow you around in one way or another pretty much no matter what you do in life. Just try losing over half your body weight in a relatively short period of time and not have a single jealous person, I can assure you it’s not going to happen.
One of the things that should be taken into account before you have bariatric surgery is that your relationships with those closest to you are going to change and for some of those the changes won’t all be positive. Does your best friend or partner always try to undermine your weight loss efforts? You say you’re going to change your eating up to be healthy and try to lose some weight and they start offering you all the things you shouldn’t be eating? I hate to say it but there’s probably some underlying stuff going on that could be exacerbated by doing something drastic like this.
I was talking about the topic of feeling jealousy from others after surgery with a group of other bariatric patients and quite a few of the girls said that their sister’s in particular have been quite jealous of their weight loss and transformation. Since I’m an only child I haven’t experienced this but it seems quite common.
The only person I’ve really noticed any jealousy from since my gastric bypass is my Mum. She has been overall really supportive of me and proud of what I’ve achieved but that green-eyed monster does rear it’s head occasionally. It can be as easy as comments like, “Should you be eating that?” “That’s not healthy,” et cetera, et cetera. Mum jokingly now calls me ‘Skinny bitch’ but I know she’s not joking all the time.
I don’t let it bother me because I have a pretty thick skin and I only see glimpses of it. I think it would be a lot harder to deal with if it was a constant stream coming from her. I think for people in our lives who have also struggled with their weight it can be hard for them to see us taking such a huge step to finally get on top of our weight problem. It may also be scaring them because like with any surgery, weight loss surgery has risks and complications can arise and they are genuinely worried about us.
Having such a huge (excuse the pun) transformation take place over a short period of time can change the perceived power within some friendships and other close relationships and make them harder. Unfortunately you have to accept that everyone may not react positively to your decision to have surgery and that you will probably come across jealously from someone in your life.
If you have someone in your life who is jealous of you after bariatric surgery I think you need to try to remember it may not just be about you. People are complex especially emotionally and you can’t let someone else’s jealousy hold you back if you think that this is the best option for you. Do try to be sensitive though and if someone in your life is having a hard time accepting your change try not to go on about it when you are around them.
Have you experienced jealousy over a transformation that’s happened in your life? Did you get a jealous reaction from someone you didn’t expect when you told them you were having bariatric surgery or sometime after in your journey? Comment below and let me know I’d like to know your experience too.