A thought crossed my mind the other day, one that…
One thing I really never expected after my gastric bypass was getting to a point where I am completely comfortable in my own skin. It’s not even something I really noticed myself but after a few people have pointed it out to me recently I’ve been thinking about it.
I had always been self conscious and I think a very big part of that was related to my weight. Because I was so big I felt like I stood out everywhere I went and that it was the first thing people would notice about me. That created unconscious behaviours like checking the room to see if I was the biggest person there and to some degree my weight meant I was always on alert. Unfortunately, morbid obesity is very obvious to everyone else and it’s not something that you can hide or ignore.
I had always been a confident person and in that respect I never let my weight hold me back but I did have to fake a certain amount of my confidence because it wasn’t all real. As I lost weight and started not standing out because of my size I found it easier to blend in and the constant worrying and nagging thoughts started to ease up. I hate saying it because it’s such a bad pun but as I lost my excess weight a weight really lifted off my shoulders. Not only is it physically hard being a bigger person it’s really hard mentally too.
I think getting to my goal weight has played a big part in me feeling comfortable in my own skin. Being truly happy with my weight and not wanting to lose weight for the first time in my whole life is amazing. There are many things that are not anywhere near ideal about my body but you know what? I have come so far it would be ridiculous to let them bother me.
Another thing that helps me feel comfortable in my skin is not caring what other people think about my body. No matter what size you are, how healthy you appear or actually are people are going to make judgements about you and they won’t hold back in letting you know. When I was overweight people would inform me I was fat like I hadn’t realised and now I get comments about being small and not losing anymore weight. There’s also something about losing a large amount of weight in a relatively short period of time that makes people think they are more entitled to pass judegment on your body. I think it’s easier said than done to start with but you cannot take other peoples opinions on board.
I, naturally, am a very positive person and I see the good in things. I choose to focus on the amazing things my body is capable of doing now, how fortunate I am to have changed my life and my long term health prospects, and the fact that while I had to take the hard road of bariatric surgery, I finally got my life back and my always escalating weight problem under control.
I’m comfortable in my own skin because I’m happy. I’m happy with my perfectly imperfect body. I’m happy with who I am inside. I’m happy with my courage and drive to get what I wanted. I’m happy I sacrificed a normal life for this different but better for me, life. Some days the choice to be happy about things is harder than others and some days are just crap and I fail at that completely. Ultimately I choose to be happy in my own skin and its so much easier to focus on the things going on around me. It’s easier when you don’t feel like the literal elephant in the room. (Shit that sounds awful to say out loud but that’s really what I used to feel like). Getting comfortable in your skin will be a different process for us all but those are the things I think helped me get to this point.
How comfortable are you in your own skin? Have you embarked on a journey of self love and accpetance, what things make it easier for you to feel comfortable within yourself? Comment below I’d love to hear from you.