Things I Miss

This post compliments the post I did recently about the things I don’t miss after having to give up lots of things in my decision to have gastric bypass surgery and live with the consequences for the rest of my life. Of course it’s only natural that with the things I don’t miss there would be some I do and they aren’t the things I ever expected to miss.

  1. Fruit. If I have fruit now it tends to be in quite small quantities whereas before I loved fruit and could eat lots of it. Now the smell of it, oh my gosh. Mandarins are probably what I miss the most and other fruit related things like fruity cocktails. Fruit tends to be high in natural sugars so it’s not something I can eat as and how I like anymore.
  1. Sushi. Since surgery me and rice arent really very good friends anymore. Also the seaweed freaks me out now because it would be so much chewing and I really doubt that my tiny tummy would be able to cope with it and digest it. I really used to enjoy sushi so it’s one thing I really miss.
  1. Eating and Drinking at the same time. I know this isnt really a food item but one of the hardest things for me to get my head around was seperating out my eating and drinking. I still miss being able to have a drink with my meals and it’s sometimes a huge conscious effort to not have any fluid near me when I’m eating so that I cant accidentally slip into old habits. In the beginning especially I struggled with not being able to take away the flavour of the food from my mouth when I had finished eating but now I have a couple of strategies to deal with it and its not so bad.
  1. Being able to use food as a coping mechanism. Before surgery food and I had a pretty easy going relationship. I would eat for a multitude of reasons but best of all if I was having a bad day it was there for me. Sometimes I really miss just being able to zone out and have a good comfort eat. I feel this especially when I’m sick, tired or especially stressed. I know now on an intellectual level that eating won’t actually help me feel better in any way and that’s valuable to know but I miss the comfort I got from it.
  1. Being able to eat quickly and just grab anything on the run. I cant just shove food down my face in three minutes flat and run out the door anymore. If I ty it has awful consequences and its really not worth it. Also if I’m in a hurry and I’m out I can’t just grab the nearest thing and eat it since I have to be so mindful of what I eat. While this just makes me more organised and prepared it can be stressful.

I find it interesting that there’s not actually much food that I miss but its more the behaviours around food that I still sometimes miss. As with any hugely life changing event on good days the tough stuff is easy to deal with and manage but its the bad days that you struggle more and find it harder not to slip back into these old comforting patterns of behaviour.

I’m so glad I made the decision to have a gastric bypass and I would do it again in a heartbeat so even though theres a few things that I miss they really don’t worry me too much. Is there anything you’ve had to give up through weight loss surgery or other means that you miss sometimes. Let me know in the comments below I’d love to see what things you occassionally find yourself hanging out for.

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There are 8 comments for this article
    • Melissa Peaks Author at 7:20 am

      Thanks for your comment Maria! You just made me realise how normal all of this feels to me because when you said ‘everything’ I thought really? And then it dawned on me that yes everything has changed.

  1. Gemma at 12:56 pm

    Hope you don’t mind comments on old posts? I’m 7 weeks post op and so am dipping back into some of your archives. Even if I read them before surgery, I now GET them! I had my first really vivid example of not being able to use food as a coping mechanism a few days ago. Had an awful day and and some discord with a relative, had a huge rant and cry to my partner and he asked what he could do to help. I cried ‘Red wine and pizza!’ and sobbed a whole lot more because I couldn’t have it. It sounds really pathetic but it would have soothed me, sent some serotonin and dopamine into my body and would have felt a bit more distant from what was upsetting me. It sucked!
    I’m still struggling with keeping solids and liquids seperate, let’s just say it’s all very well to know about the 30min rule, but it takes personal experience to really KNOW it.
    One other word you used above also jumped out at me this time – mindful. If nothing else, I think my description of having had bariatric surgery is that it’s the biggest lesson in mindful eating that one can have. It’s something I used to try to do, but this has made it a ‘no option but’ situation.
    Thanks again for your blog, it’s been so much help x

    • Melissa Peaks Author at 1:28 pm

      I love comments on my blog old posts or new! I’m glad you can relate to them even more now 😀 Thanks for the nice words about my blog I appreciate it and this is why I do it, you never know who it will help. Honestly the first time of having that realisation is the worst. I’ve cried a few times because I can’t just eat whatever rubbish I wanted to help myself feel better. It’s not at all pathetic we all have our vices and for those of us who rely on food when that is suddenly taken away it’s really hard. I’m glad mindful jumped out at you. It really takes focus and mindfulness long term to make sure you do the right thing by your body and get all of your protein in etc. To me you sound like you’re at a really good place for 7 weeks out so keep it up and you are going to have better success than you ever imagined possible. Thank you for reading I really appreciate it!

  2. Louise at 4:11 pm

    Hi Melissa,

    I’m also going through all your old posts like Gemma above 🙂 In #3 above when you talk about giving up drinking while eating, that is one thing that I am worried about as I have always had a drink (usually water) with food. In your post you say you now have a couple of strategies to deal with this, can I ask you what they are please? Thanks heaps!

    • Melissa Peaks Author at 7:04 pm

      Hello Louise! Thank you for being dedicated enough to read through them all, there’s quite a few posts on my blog now. Initially I really disliked not being able to drink during and after eating and mainly it was because the taste would hang around in my mouth and I didn’t like it. I used to brush my teeth after eating to get rid of the taste and it would carry me over until I could drink water again. I wrote this so long ago that I have no idea what the other (I said a few so I must have had more than one right?) ones were. I have to say, now, over three years out I’m totally used to separating them and waiting before I can drink again after eating. It does take a while but it eventually becomes second nature.

      • Carolyn at 5:03 pm

        Thanks….I wanted I know what you did to take taste or flobourbon out of mouth afterwards.
        Can I say…this is the scariest thing….what will I do when I would usually turn to food for comfort, when angry, hurt, happy, sad, depressed….every reason. It makes me feel like I will not be able to have surgery…. will this be too hard?

        • Melissa Peaks Author at 5:10 pm

          You can still have surgery, and it will be a process working through it afterwards but it’s something we all have to figure out for ourselves and how we manage it afterwards. New coping skills are hard to come by but it’s possible to develop them.

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